Oh well

I wonder why I always feel like I am letting people down? Even though I know I don’t I still feel like I do. Almost every time people ask me to do something, I have to say no (almost always without any good reason). Like this Friday I was supposed to go to the cinema with a friend, but had to cancel.

Actually, this time I did have a reason. I got no money, what so ever. I had to use paper-napkins as toilet-paper today. No, I am not kidding. And I want to visit my stepmother in Sweden. So… Instead of going there in a week, like I was going to… I am going there tomorrow. My father pays me to go if I go tomorrow, ’cause then I can drive my little brother home. My father don’t have to go himself, I was going there anyway and hopefully she has toilet-paper. =0P
And food.

Then I got some swedish money so I can buy som cigarettes… Hopefully. My economy is totally FUCKED up… I got 20 000 NOK (Norwegian Kronors) in unpayed speeding tickets… Then in Sweden I owe totally 130 000 SEK (Swedish Kronors) Well… Right now I feel like running to Africa and hide behind a bush. Change my name to something they can’t type down and hope no one ever find me. I can marry a goat and live happily ever after.

I hope I don’t fuck things up totally with everyone I care about. It is funny… I fear that my fear for messing things up will make me mess things up even worse. Funny… Yeah. No. Not really.

Gah, whatever.
“There are lessons that sadness can only teach. They are all things that we must learn!”
Maybe I should stop complaining and start learning then.


~ by Methras on 6 April 2006.

2 Responses to “Oh well”

  1. My dear one
    All people feel like running away from them self some times.. but it never works.. You have to face your self and your life. And if you are not saticfied with it.. YOU are the only one who can do anything about it.. When you are working or doing something, you dont think so much about YOU, and suddenly a hole day has gone by and something has happend.. and you feel tired but saticfied.. and you can sleep and feel well with your self knowing that this day did`nt focus on YOU this time, but on the other hand it did, because that was about to LIVE, and that is the ultimat way of living… and loving.. to do something active and feeling tired and good about your self.
    From a loved one 😉

    • Re: My dear one
      Thank you, whoever you are.
      You have given me something I will have to think about…
      And think about it, I will.

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